How to Win Your Husband Back After an Affair
An affair doesn’t have to lead to a divorce. If both parties want to work through the hurt that has been caused and rebuild their marriage, it is definitely possible. It takes time, dedication and perseverance, however, particularly on the part of the person who had the affair. Take it one step at a time and put all your energy into winning your husband back. Your marriage may end up being stronger than ever.
Cut all ties with the person you had the affair with. Delete all contact details from your cell phone and computer. Change your cell phone number if you think he might try to get in touch with you. You can only move on and try to rebuild your marriage if the affair is 100 percent over, says psychologist Phil McGraw.
Take responsibility for the heartache your betrayal has caused. Your husband may have contributed to the breakdown of your relationship, but he did not force you to have an affair. You may have felt rejected, neglected or lonely in your marriage, but before you start discussing those issues, you need to acknowledge what you did wrong, without placing blame on your husband. Tell your husband: "I made a huge mistake; I’m sorry, and I want to make things right."
Commit fully to staying in the relationship and do all you can to help your husband get over your affair. It is likely to take a long time for him to forgive you. He might need you to keep in regular contact with him while you’re apart via phone calls, text messages or emails. Let him know exactly where you are going to be and when, and make sure you stick to your arrangements. If he has any reason not to trust you again, it will be even harder to repair your broken relationship. Make sure your schedule is an open book, advises licensed marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers.
Reassure your husband that you love him and are committed to your marriage as often as he needs it. Show him how much you care on a daily basis. From small gestures like sending him a text out of the blue just to tell him you miss him, to surprising him with a romantic weekend away, it will all help you to reconnect.
Accept that there may come a point where it becomes clear that the marriage is just not going to work. If your husband is unable to forgive you and move on after several months, it could be time to part ways. Not all couples survive infidelity.
Don’t stay in an unhappy, unhealthy marriage solely for the sake of your children. Think of the example you are setting them. Kids are better off coming from a broken home than being a part of one, says Dr. Phil.
How to Win Back Your Husband after an Affair
You’ve made a mistake. It was the single most regrettable thing you have done in your life and its consequences have been brutal.
You have broken your husband`s heart, you know that and wish with all yours that you could make it right.
You know he still loves you, but how do you win back your husband after an affair?
An affair can be the single most devastating occurrence in a marriage. It symbolizes betrayal of trust and is agonizing for the faithful partner.
No matter how horrible the situation may feel, there is still hope if you want to know how to win back your husband after an affair.
In the 21 st Century, more and more women are becoming independent from their partners. This can lead to affairs with other men.
However, whatever the situation may be, cheating on your partner causes such emotional pain, that you should not expect forgiveness immediately or repeatedly.
If you want to know how to win back your husband, you have to acknowledge that the affair was a mistake that you will never repeat.
If you know that you’ve made a mistake and that you’re serious about asking forgiveness, there is still a way for you to win back your husband after an affair. This will require persistence and patience since you cannot expect your partner to forgive you immediately.
1. Think About Your Actions – Before asking your husband to take you back, reflect upon the reason why you had the affair. Was it really a mistake that you would never commit again?
Or have you developed feelings for the other person? Before asking your husband for a second chance, make sure that you won’t be hurting him again by falling into temptation the second time around.
2. Accept that His Forgiveness Won’t Come Overnight – No matter how much you want your husband to forgive you, remember that an affair isn’t like any other mistake you’ve made before. Getting back with your husband will require a strong commitment and patience on your part to finally convince your partner that you’re truly sorry about what you did and that you will never make that mistake again.
Trust can be one of the hardest things to rebuild, and you may have to deal with situations in which your husband will doubt you, or may possibly even accuse you of things you did not do. Have patience with him and understand where the distrust is coming from. Let him see that you’ve only committed one mistake, and that you’re determined never to make it again.
3. Say Sorry – Some women can feel too guilty that they forget to say the words that really matter. Saying “I’m sorry” sincerely is the first step when you need to know how to win back your husband after an affair.
Be genuine and let him know that you never intended to hurt him. Once you’ve had a sincere talk where you’ve voiced your apologies, there’s no need to repeat it over and over again since this will just remind him of the painful event that transpired.
4. Don’t Put the Blame On Him – An affair can often be triggered because of a deficit within your marriage. But whatever shortcoming your husband may have is still no excuse to have an affair.
When talking with your husband, be sure never to put the blame on him. This will put him on the defensive, and thus will make him even less willing to hear you out, let alone forgive you.
5. Reassure Him That He’s The One You Love – People whose partners have cheated on them often end up having a bad case of insecurity and low self-esteem. They will start to wonder what’s wrong with them and what’s lacking in them. If you want to know how to win back your husband after an affair, reassure your husband that he’s the only one you love and that he is very special to you.
Let him know how much you truly care for him not only in words but also in action. Be sure to put his needs first before yours. Above all, be consistent with your actions.
It can be a long and arduous process, requiring patience, commitment, and understanding. But If you want to learn how to save your marriage today then you need to have all of these in abundance to repair the damage done.
If you truly love your husband and know in your heart the mistake you made, then it won’t be difficult to show him how much you care, and how truly sorry you are for having an affair.
In time he will forgive you and you can start over, but he needs time.
About the Author Elizabeth Davis
With more than twenty years experience in the field, Elizabeth Davis is a well known and respected relationship adviser. Through her site she offers free, no-holds-barred counseling, friendship and support to anyone experiencing difficulties in their relationship. Let her help you to a life filled with the unconditional love and laughter you deserve.