Why does my husband yell at me
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This is a hard question to answer, mostly because there may be a number of factors that enter into the “why.” For example, is he a bad-tempered man? That may be enough of an answer right there. To determine whether or not this is true, look at his behavior with other people. A bad-tempered person will “yell and cuss” at many people in his life. If this is the case, you have two choices: learn how to live with him, and accept that he is a bad-tempered individual, or choose to leave him. However, if you knew he was like this before you married him, you have only yourself to blame for marrying him.
Another factor may be you. Are you particularly difficult to get along or live with? You need to answer this honestly. Are you a sloppy homemaker? Do you leave things around that should be put away? If your husband is a particularly neat person, then you may have this issue between you. There may be other factors attributable to the personality differences between the two of you that make it difficult for him. Can you identify a pattern to when he yells? Does HE give a reason for his yelling? Does he ever apologize? These sorts of questions may help you figure out if his problem has to do with something you are or not doing, or if this a personality issue with him that you just may have to live with.
Another factor may be you. Do you yell and cuss at him too? Your question sort of implies that he comes out of nowhere and yells at you, but is there a possibility that you contribute to the yelling, cussing, or discord that leads to yelling and cussing? It’s very easy to see faults in others; very difficult to see them in ourselves. Do you argue with him? Or do you escalate arguments so that the two of you get into shouting matches?
Here’s the easiest way to figure out an answer to all these questions: ASK HIM.
Your question implies you have no idea why he yells and cusses. If that’s true, that you really don’t know, all the guessing by you or others like me will serve you nothing. You need to ask, when he’s in a good or decent mood, “Hon, can we talk about why you yell and cuss at me? I’d like to know what I do to make you so unhappy or angry with me, because I’d like to improve myself.” Tell him it hurts you when he yells, because you love him and want to please him, and that you would like to try not to do those behaviors that do not please him. Notice that in this approach, you do not accuse, blame, or point the finger at him, but that you immediately take responsibility for your part in this relationship. You want to show him you care about improving it, and that you’re willing to improve yourself in order to have a better relationship with him.. Hopefully he will echo your sentiments and you can start a dialogue about how he can communicate his feelings in a more even-keeled way.