Why husband puts wife down
Husband Puts Me Down
What do you do if your husband puts you down all the time? I want out of the marriage and I have no love.
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— janet on 9/1/05
Helpful Blog Vote (29)
Pray for your enemies, do good to those who despitefully use you, forgive your brother and run like a bat out of hell if he hurts you.
but read your bible on remaining single remember to leave a door open for reconsiliation and enjoy your God given freedom to serve without committing Adutlery, He aint dead love !
goody: Good advice if you are with a normal man but not if you are with an abuser. Abusers consider kindness to be a weakness. That is why they often pick kindhearted people to abuse since they are easier targets.
God can soften people’s hearts but they have to be willing to participate. God will not make anyone love anyone.
Best to face reality in abusive situations since they rarely get better unless the abuser admits fault and is truly remorseful and willing to change.
Contrary to being told we only have one side of the story if your husband is constantly abusive then I would give him fair warning and then leave.
This is no way to live and just because you are a Christian doesn’t mean you have to live in misery like this.
Of course there are others on here who would beg to differ but remember it is your life and you are the one who has to live it.
I understand like you apparently never could. And it hurts women deeply.
—Mary on 2/24/11
Unfortunately Mary, most men would understand this if they understood themselves.
This is about control and the man who inside feels powerless wants control. Control over his wife, control over his job, control over his life. Everywhere that he exercises control over he does NOT feel powerless. Ultimately, he is afraid of feeling powerless.
My suggestion is that your hustband needs to get counseling help. One excellent book that he could read is "The Silence of Adam" that discusses us men and our struggles.
Looking at how many Christian women on blogs are always complaining about their husbands and putting them down, and how few men say similar things, what do YOU really think is going on?
I think women are just moaning about how their husbands don’t allow them to run things.
Janet–It doesn’t help much, but a person who "puts others down" is usually feeling quite insecure about his own worth.
If he does this especially in front of others, you might ask if it wouldn’t be better to discuss these things in private instead of in the prescence of others.
Your husband sounds like an exceptionally controlling person. You seem to have tried everything. Try marriage counseling. If he won’t go,
go yourself and let the chips fall where they may.
If he becomes violent, leave.
Thomas you have started at a good place confession now you need to take your situation to a reccomended Christian counsellor in the church and ask for help in mending your past hurts and lifestyle then you may find through repentance and sincerity your wife just may come back.
NO Promises though she sounds like she’s had far too much and getting her back won’t be easy. Your salvation is what matters everything else will be a bonus. ”Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you”
Hello,my name is Thomas:
I really don’t know where to start,
other than I am a very abusive husband
who just had my wife of 26 years leave
me. I will be the first to admit I do
need help.I have been to several shrinks and take meds for my anger
problem.I was abused as a child,isn’t
that the excuse everyone wants to hear? I hate what I have become,but I
don’t know what to do? My father was
a very hard working man and never had
any time to spend with us.I do pray
to God for help,but I just don’t feel
that I deserve any.I have three kids
who won’t even talk to me.
With any abuse hate or critisim it hurts and no one is denying that but when you attend pity party and we all from time to time no one but us attends and when we invite others to our pity party it just re affirm the negatives that someone has assigned. So why stay there? It does you no good, your health, self esteem and most of all your salvation. Gods word is full of blessings and when we take them on board they are effective in releasing the peace and joy back into the joyful soul you once were. All I am encouraging is to pray for people who are ill minded and be the bigger person and love even thou it don’t make any sense, it’s not only Gods way but the only way out.
Why Do Men Put Their Wives Down When Male Friends are Present?
In many cases, the behavior of men and women remain a mystery to each other. There are things about the opposite sex that we will never truly understand.
Until we somehow can experience what the other thinks and feels, we can never fully grasp why each other carries out certain behaviors.
One action that is usually greatly different among men and women is the way that each other is perceived and commented upon by their spouse in front of friends.
Women tend to like to make their husband appear to be better when she describes him to her friends. She would at least like to be able to tell her friends how much help is to her and how romantic their relationship is with one another.
Men however are a different story. For some odd reason men prefer to put their wives down in front of friends. Most men make some type of wisecrack comment about their wife’s cooking or cleaning habits when the male friends are present.
It seems that less secure men are afraid of uplifting their wives in front of friends due to looking “whipped”, “hen pecked”, or “not in charge”. They feel that by admitting to friends that they appreciate their wives, they would appear weak and less dominant.
If questioned about the comments made about their wives while male friends are present, most men will say that they were just kidding or joking and that no harm was done.
While in most cases, the wives realize that their husbands are just boosting their egos, it can be hurtful if the comments become too harsh or many.
A smart comment to his friends every now and then is nothing to worry about. Somewhere among the comments should be a few positive remarks. However, if your husband is constantly putting you down in front of others, you may want to discuss the issue with him and let him know how it makes you feel.